Just last Saturday I was convinced I wouldn’t run out of things to watch. I am an expert at staying at home. On the one hand I truly thought a world where people just kept to themselves was ideal for me. I am introverted, enjoy silence, and and have access you YouTube. What the heck else could I possibly need.
Unfortunately, after I finished browsing the “sexopedia” on Cosmopolitan, I found myself with little to do. Just as your mind probably does during times like these, my mind has started to wander. What’s my next move? Should I get pregnant this weekend or in 5 years? Was the plant I bought really worth $16 in this economy? Who knows. I should be focusing on more important things, existential questions really. Is my whole life going to change because of a virus? Will I get to have the house, family, and career that my parents and grandparent got to have? Maybe.
Luckily, I don’t have to worry. I know how this all ends. Whether I get to have the life I thought or not. There has been a plan for my life before I was even born and it will come to fruition. This quiet time, without the background chatter of the TV is allowing me to fully realize that.
More than this post being a test block, I want to start fresh. I just finished reading this book, You Are The Girl For The Job. I have been off and on reading it since the beginning of January and finally completed it while on LOCK DOWN (aka: work from home, quarantine, social distancing)… Y’all just don’t understand. For someone who has always been a rule follower this is a challenging time. I am taking the rules of stay at home very seriously. I have been reminded on more than one occasion that this isn’t house arrest. I am allowed to walk in my own neighborhood. I do not have to look longingly outside at the beautiful blue sky and wish I could breath the fresh spring air. I can literally just walk out the door. Anyway, back to the book. This is my first step. Thank you Jess Connolly. You have become a friend in my head. You don’t know me but you are inching close to the inner circle of Meghan Markel and Usher.
Other than the clear Christ centered themes in the book, I couldn’t help but notice that you (Jess) have SO MANY FRIENDS. I (a perpetual loner) find this increasingly interesting. Sure, I have men and women I call friends. But what I do not have is hoards of people that I can call to pray with, or hit the shops with. Jess, honey, I do not even have a girl friend (A SINGLE GIRL FRIEND) that I can consistently call to go out and have lunch with. And let it be known, I love to go out to lunch. I get it from my mom. I would even be willing to pay for the two of us if this woman existed. On an occasion or two, (or 10, maybe after the hour of 9:30 PM, perfect emotional time) I have cried to my current boyfriend about a general lack of friends. He continues to tell me the normal things like.
” It takes time.”
“People are building their lives at our age.”
“I’ll eat lunch with you.”
Bless his dear sweet heart. If you are a woman reading this, you know as well as I do that it does not take this much time (almost 2 years in a new city), 24 year old women are more concerned about weekend plans then the oh so distant future, and eating with your boyfriend is much different than a spur of the moment lunch and chat with the girls.
Jess, while this is just my intro to the writing world, I don’t want you to think I am not trying in the friendship department. I have given it my best shot since birth. I could blame it on being from a military family, or genuinely enjoying my alone time, but the honest truth is I don’t put in the effort. I didn’t make this a goal at the beginning of 2020 but I would like to step out in faith now and say I will actually try to make friends in this new city I call home. There has got to be some girl/girls that are also thinking the same thing I am. Where are the other women that want to go to lunch?
If you have had or are having the same issue please allow me to be someone who wholeheartedly understands. We’re in this together.